Blame it.

Blame it on sheer coincidence. Blame it on the klepto who saw the opportunity to satisfy his/her selfish intentions. Blame it on the sheer carelessness. Most of all, blame it on myself. 

The materialistic value of it means nothing at all, but the invaluable fact that I keep disappointing you on a regular basis. It's like repeating mistakes will forever be stamped on my forehead.

I may not be the trustworthy or responsible one. Irrational choices and imprudence on the simplest things is something that I need to keep constant check with. You may call me the black sheep of the herd, which can be a double-edged sword.

I know you may be disappointed once again, but I will make it up to you.  One day, I will prove to you that I can change and that I truly appreciate everything that you had given me. I don't know how, but I promise I will. The value goes beyond a mere device and I know that you may not understand this if I tell you in person. I feel like I owe it to you.
In the end, I want you to be proud of me.

It just sucks that this just hit me after 19 years of living.